Salem's harem
by wlfmanjack
Summary: What was once a Mercury x Salem one-shot has evolved into a Salem harem fic. A collection of one-shots with the wicked witch collecting husbandos for her harem. Artwork by Deviantartist DoodlieDork
1. Salem x Mercury

In the deep ominous dining hall of Salem's mansion, we find the still recovering Cinder being spoon fed her meal by the loyal Emerald. The crimson warrior, however glared at the food, embarrassed that her loss against Ruby reduced her to this state. "Come on mam," Emerald encouraged, "if you want to regain your strength you got to-"

Interrupted, Cinder snatched the spoon containing her soup in an attempt to feed herself only to result in her one free hand to shake profusely.

The girl winced at the mess she made as Mercury stifled a laugh, "You know Emerald" **_snicker,_** "You might have some success if you pretended to fly the spoon in her mouth like an airplane."

Cinder glared at the assassin with great intensity, giving the impression she was ready to kill. With Emerald lecturing, "You know, it wouldn't kill you to show a little sympathy."

"Sorry Spearmint, but that's the way I am. Chicks love guys who are assholes."

Cinder simply rolled her eyes as Emerald commented, "Yeah, something tells me you've never been laid."

"Oh believe it sister, I've slept with tons of women. The trick is, it's not enough to be an asshole, but how you go about your assholish approach. Trust me if I wanted you, I could have you. Just like, how I can charm any girl that comes my way."

"Oh really," Emerald jested, "So if you wanted Salem, you'd just treat her like shit and she'd be all over you."

"I see what's you're trying to do here, you're trying to scare me away since-" at that moment, the wicked enchantress had stepped in and was peering behind Mercury. Her intrusion put both the young girls in a petrified state as Mercury went on, "-Salem is a scary demonic looking woman."

"Mercury," the thief grunted through her teeth, trying to get him to shut up.

"But believe me when I say this, if I wanted me some albino pussy-"

"MERCURY," she grunted through her teeth louder.

"I could have her on her hands and knees begging for my dick."

"Is that right," Salem hissed.

Paralyzed in fear from hearing the witch's voice coming from behind. The assassin slowly crept around to come full view of Salem herself. He muttered, "Oh uh, hey there mam. How long have you been listening?"

"Long enough." Salem leaned in closer to whisper as she looked him straight in the eyes.

"Oh well, the thing about that is-" the Assassin was interrupted at the instantaneous change of scenery. He and Salem appeared in a pitch black room with only one light over head illuminating the spot the two shared. "I'm sorry," he pleaded as he dropped to his knees, "I'm so fucking sorry I said those things, just please don't kill me."

"Relax," Salem soothed, "I'm not gonna kill you."

"Then is it torture?" He cried, "Oh please don't let it be torture."

"Well, while I wouldn't call it torture, there's no harm in mixing in a little pain with pleasure." She assured as one snap of her fingers ignited multiple candles scattered across the room revealing a single bed with shiny black silk sheets.

"Wha- wait, what is this?"

"Be honest dear, do you really want me."

Not wanting to offend his boss as he feared one false move could be the end for him, "Well... I just never thought of you that way, I was just talking out my ass back there."

"So... you don't want me."

Worried that he may have offended her, "No, no that's not what I said, I just- what the?" Mercury silenced himself at the sight of Salem letting her hair down.

With one swipe of her hand, her massive bun fell and her hair showed a long seductive wavy look, "Does this please you?"

"Uh, well," He murmured, "I'll admit, this does make you more appealing."

With a small smirk, Salem tugged one tied knot on her gown, "and... how about now." She hushed as her dress fell completely to her feet, revealing she had quite the figure.

Although the display was enticing, Mercury was still aghast, "What is happening right now?"

"Oh my," the witch chirped as she went to cup a feel of the bulge protruding from the assassin's pants, "Aren't you a big boy."

"Whoa now, uh. Can we slow down for a moment, I just need time to process thi-" before he had time to react, Salem's shadow morphed into four separated arms, as they each grabbed hold of his limbs, then lifted him up, and slammed him into the bed, pinning him down. "... Is this really happening right now?"

As Salem crawled her way onto the bed, still restraining the poor boy, "Believe me kid, I've actually had my sights on you since the moment you came here."

"Ah well, I-I don't know if I'm ready, it's just... You're my boss and honestly you're kinda scary and-"

"shush," She whispered, "Just relax and this will only hurt a little bit."

"Why does it have to hurt at all?" He pleaded.

"More fun that way, and trust me, I've been around for centuries. I know my way around the sheets and let me tell you, I've been starved for some physical contact for too long. So this is happening, so you might as well enjoy it."

"... Okay."

 ** _T_** _ **hree hours of passionate lovemaking later**_

Both Salem and Mercury were naked under the sheets with the assassin boy having a few cuts and bruises as he was panting vigorously then cheered, "That... was... AMAZING! Holy fuck that felt incredible."

"It was quite enjoyable on my end too," She commented, "Oh and don't worry, my physiology makes me incapable of catching or spreading STDs and I can't get pregnant."

"I gotta confess something, I actually have never been with anyone before. This was my first time."

"Could've fooled me," She soothed, "Tell me Mercury. What would you say to a threesome?"

Truly in awe of this question, he shot out, "I say hell to the fuck yeah, let's do it."

"I like your enthusiasm, just swear yourself as my eternal sex slave and we can keep doing this for as long as you live."

"I SWEAR, Holy FUCK do I swear to be your slave forever."

"Great," She chirped while getting out of the bed, "I'll be sure to give Adam a call and the three of us can have some real fun."

"Hell yeah we c... Wait, what?"


	2. Salem x Mercury x Adam

In the deep dark ominous mansion that was Salem's hideout, we find Adam Taurus entering the fortress, for the first time for a very particular assignment. As he entered he was greeted by Mercury Black, who had a troubled look on his face. "Heeeeeey buddy," The assassin greeted, "I don't suppose Salem informed you as to why you're here."

"I was requested over to preform sexual acts upon her with another man," Adam firmly stated.

' _Shit_ ' Mercury thought ' _this guy actually agreed knowing it was a threesome with another guy. Or maybe she conveniently left that part out until after he agreed. Doesn't matter anymore, seems like we're both in the same boat.'_ "Well I'm the other guy and if we're gonna do this, I think we should set some ground rules."

"Rules?"

"Yeah, you know. Like stuff that only applies to you and me, but not Salem."

"Right, how about this. Any kiss between us can not extend past five seconds."

 _'WHAT',_ Mercury screamed in his thoughts before he verbally answered, "NO! You and I don't kiss at all."

"Oh what, so Salem's the only one aloud to have fun in this threesome."

"Are you fucking serious? Do you actually want to have sex with me?"

"Yes." The Faunus sternly replied.

Mercury stood there aghast at the response, "...Come again?"

"Ninety six percent of Faunus are bisexual, did you not know that?"

"Of course they are. Wait, ninety six? That's a random number."

"OOOOH, and I suppose it's NORMAL that ninety six percent of humans are straight."

Covering his face with his palm, the assassin grunted, "Okay this conversation's taking a wrong turn... WAIT, uh are you sure you want to have sex with Salem? I mean are you even attracted to her?"

"Of course I'm attracted to her."

"...Seriously?"

"Why wouldn't I? Those soulless demonic eyes, the ominous presence, and that dark maleficent voice. GAWD I get a raging hard on just thinking about how hot she is."

 _'Holy fuck this guy's edgy,'_ Mercury thought with anime widen eyes, but before he could say anything Salem interjected, "Oh my Mr. Taurus," She hushed while making her way down the stairs, "You're going to make me blush."

"I meant every word of it my dear," Adam hushed as he approached her, when the two met he lifted her hand delicately, then planted a small peck on it.

"You're quite the catch yourself Mr. Taurus," She soothed as Adam smirked at the compliment. She then proposed, "Mr. Taurus, I'm actually compiling a harem. So far I've recruited Mercury and Tyrian and I'd like to extend that offer to you."

"Interesting," The Faunus whispered.

Mercury worried about his fate, tried one ditch effort to sway Adam away, "Uh well, you know Adam. If you agree, you should know Salem's really into BDSM, you know whips, chains, candle wax."

"Really," The Faunus whispered then turned his attention to the demonic waifu, "Is this true?"

"Guilty as charged," She replied, "I don't believe there's any other way to have sex."

"That.. is... AWESOME!" Adam Roared, "Mam, I would be honored to join your harem."

Mercury groaned in defeat and Salem giggled, "Wonderful, now how about I teleport the three of us to my chambers and we can-"

"WAIT!" Cinder cried, at this point she had made an excellent recovery since her battle at Beacon and she had something to say. With all eyes on her, the crimson warrior mumbled, "before you guys go, I have something I need to get off my chest... Miss, I think you're a... HOT piece of ass and, that I want to... finger you senseless until you're... Squirting up a storm."

The wicked witch paused for a moment then soothed, "Miss Fall, are you trying to seduce me?"

Dropping to her knees, the girl's voice cracked, "Yessss...Yes please I want you, I need you PLEASE let me be part of your harem too."

"Oh my. Miss Fall I'm flattered, but I don't swing that way."

"Of course you don't," Mercury grumbled.

The witch then sauntered over to the two men, placing a hand on one of their shoulders, then teleported them both to her chambers.

* * *

Returning to Salem's bed chamber, Mercury took notice of something that was not there since his first visit. He found Tyrian, bound and gaged onto a chair with tears running down his face. The assassin noted, "Uh, what's going on over here."

the witch lied upon her bed, with a single bare leg exposed from her gown as she poured herself a glass of wine answered, "Oh Tyrian, he's being punished for failing his mission. So he's going to watch us have sex. Unable to join in or even touch himself."

"That's hot," Adam hushed while receiving a disconcerting look from the assassin.

"Now boys, I want you two to strip for me. Put on a show and Adam... Keep the mask on."

"Yes mam," The Faunus cheered as he enthusiastically began to strip.

Mercury sighed and finally submitted to his fate, "Fuck it, at least I'm still doing it with a woman."

* * *

 **Wasn't gonna do a sequel, but when I imagined what a threesome between Mercury, Adam, and Salem would pan out I couldn't help, but think how funny it would be if Adam was actually into it. And according to the fandom every single female in this show is bisexual until proven otherwise so why not write Adam Bi. I already wrote Ilia straight in a different fic before her sexuality was revealed to be gay. Plus I think it's believable that he'd be into BDSM and think Salem is hot.**

 **Can't say this will ever be a series unless I get inspired by something that happens in Volume 6. So don't expect a chapter 3 anytime soon or at all.**


	3. Salem x James Ironwood

On a bright sunny day, we find General James Ironwood, in his office, suffering at the hands, of the petty squabbles, of his fellow officers. Rise in Grimm activity has put a strain on Atlas military. Day after day, the general had mountains of paperwork loaded with requests for more man power. Finally Ironwood snapped, "EVERYONE OUT!"

The other officers looked at their superior in shock, but quickly complied with only Winter remaining. "Would you like me to leave as well?" She asked.

"Please do, I need a moment to myself." The Schnee complied and closed the doors on her way out.

The general rested his hands upon his face as he began to recuperate, but a sinister snake like sound gave him a chill he'll never forget. "Hello James."

Instantly recognizing that voice, he turned up to see his worst nightmare in front of him. The Wicked Witch Salem stood before the man as ooze dripped out of her gown, shoveling across the floor, and making its way to the door sealing it from the inside out. "It's been too long," She moaned, "How have you been?"

The general did not answer, instead he stared at his intruder for a few seconds until he viciously stood up, pulling out his magnum and began firing at the enchantress. She blocked every shot with the palm of her hand and even though the gunfire alerted his fellow officers and Winter back to his office. They were unable to break through the massive goo like substance.

Hearing their struggles on the other side, James turned his attention to the panic button on his desk. He attempted to reach for it only to halt his action as Salem threw a knife right next to it. The blade then unfolded itself into a small spider like Grimm as it hovered over the button, hissing at the general. He then turned his attention back to her, pointing his weapon in her direction, but stopped as Salem hushed, "Whoa now James, I didn't come here to fight. You couldn't beat me by yourself anyway."

"What do you want," He growled through his teeth.

"Well you see James, I've been developing a new craving recently. Before, I wanted nothing but the suffering of others and world domination, but right now I only seem to have one thing on my mind. **_MAAAAANN'S BUTT_**."

"Man's butt?"

"You see over the years our tastes change. What was once a cherish momentum quickly becomes a stale reminder, but there's one thing that never changes James. Our primal desire for intimacy. It's in our biology, yes even mine." She moved closer and began to lean on the general's desk, "And when you've been alive as long as I have, the most important thing in your life, is going to be booty. A MAAAAAAAANS butt. Booty is more important than life, is more important than food, is more important than... drinking water."

Ironwood stared down at the witch in contempt, while she stared back at him softly licking her lips. She soothed, "I'm gonna make this real simple... I likes ya and I wants ya. Now we can do this the easy way...Or we can do it the hard way. The choice is yours."

As the tension began to build up, James said the one thing Salem could have never predicted, "I don't have an ass."

With a complete dumbfounded look on her face, the witch uttered, "Wha-...What?"

This prompted the general to holster his weapon, drop his pants to reveal nothing but a metallic exoskeleton. Salem's jaw dropped for a solid few seconds and groaned, "Well fuck, nothing I can do with that...You don't happen to have a vibrating dildo hidden behind that metal crotch plate of yours or are you completely a Ken doll down there."

"This is it lady, **_sorry_** to disappoint you," James snarled.

"Well shit, I guess I'll go fuck that Arc kid. He gets paired up with literally every female character in this show anyway so might as well."

* * *

 **Remember the phrase Jaune, "The booty is mine, it belongs to me, you can not take my booty." XD, Yeah I was watching some Boondocks and I thought about this scene and thought, yeah why wouldn't this sex crazed version of Salem prey on the good guys. Anyways, might as well call this Salem's harem at this point. Hell every time there's a harem fic it always focuses on the waifus so why not be different.**


	4. Salem x Jaune

In the deep dark vile throne room in Salem's hideout, we find her sipping wine as her underling Adam Taurus brought her a gift. The Faunus dragged across the room a large moving sack with muffling sounds out of it. Salem grinned asking, "Is this who I think it is?"

Taurus gave a nod of assurance before unveiling his package to reveal Jaune Arc, the blonde boy moved frantically around the area like a scared cat, but froze with fear as he lead his eyes upon the wicked witch herself, "Oh my god," he cried, "... Y-You're S-S-S-Salem?"

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Mr. Arc."

"OH GAWD," The boy attempted to sprint in the other direction, but was instantly tripped and dragged across the room by Salem's shadow.

"Easy now, I'm not going to hurt you." She cooed.

"NO-NO-NOOOOOOOO LEMME GOOOOO!"

"It's alright, just let me say what I want to say and if you so choose it. I will allow you to leave unharmed."

Jaune felt a bit at ease, but still timid, "How do I know you'll keep your promise?"

"Well you don't I guess, but you don't have much of a choice really. If I wanted I could kill you in an instant. So if you ask me, you might as well play along and hope for the best."

Jaune hated to admit it, but she did have a point. At the very least he'll have a few more seconds of life. He then stood up and mumbled, "O-Okay fine, what is it that you want to talk about?"

The witch then dabbed the whine with her finger and applied the liquid across her lips in the form of lipstick. "You see... I once wanted nothing more than to end all life on this planet. However, lately I've developed a new desire. One that completely overshadows my need to destroy all life. A desire for intimacy."

The blonde huntsman was at loss, that was the last he expected her to say, "...You...Want to have sex with me?"

"Well yes, but when I look at you I see something that's not present in any other husbandos in this universe. A pure innocence that is rather arousing. A relationship with you should be more than just mindless sex, hell I don't think I could bring myself to fuck you with my normal methods of BDSM. Think I'd actually, dare I say...Make love to you. So I'll make you a deal, agree to marry me and I will bring back the one you love."

"...Pyrrha?" He whispered.

"Yes Pyrrha. Now it wasn't easy, but I had Adam's forces track down most of her ashes. She could be your little mistress, hell have a whole harem, I'm still going to collect husbandos for mine. All I ask in return is for you to fuck me whenever and wherever I desire."

Jaune paused for a moment then asked, "How do I know you can bring people back to life?"

The witch grinned, then called out "TYRIAN!"

Seconds later we see the scorpion Faunus dragging out a rotting smelly corpse, the witch sauntered over while clapping her hands and calling, "Charlotte."

At that moment, a tiny spider grimm scurried across the floor, climbing up the witch's dress and into her hand. The spider then compressed its body with its legs forward to resemble a knife. Salem then took the blade and made a small cut on her finger. She then dabbed one drop of her green blood in the corpse's mouth. Salem took a few steps back as all eyes were on the corpse, then slowly, but surely new skin began to grow across the bones. The old rotting flesh peeled off similarly to how a snake sheds itself. The end result was a naked hairless man.

Jaune stared at him for quite some time until he glanced at Salem, perplexed at the situation. She defended, "Give it a moment."

Then after a few more seconds, the man sprang up gasping for air and coughing profusely, he then screamed and shouted, "GAH AAHHHHH, WHERE AM I!? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!" Then one glance at the wicked witch caused him to sprawl up to his feet and backed away screaming even louder.

Salem soothed, "Good evening Mr. Torchwick. I am your Queen, Salem. I'm sure Cinder has spoke of me."

The man paused as he tried to remember, "Y-...You're...Salem and I'm...Roman? And-OW...OWWWWWW," He grunted while clenching his chest, "GAHHHHAH MY HEART AHHHH!"

Roman fell back to the ground curling himself up while screaming some more as Jaune barked, "What the hell is going on?"

"Don't worry," She cooed, "He'll be fine."

"EVERYTHING HURTS SO MUCH!" Roman cried

"Well... He'll be fine in about six hours."

"SIX HOURS?!" Roman cried while writhing in pain

"Tyrian, can you please get Roman out of here?"

"As you wish my queen." The scorpion complied as he dragged the screaming con man by the ankle.

"And let me know when he grows his sexy hair back, that man's got some real class."

Jaune then muttered, "I-I don't know about this?"

"Look I don't know how many times in fiction you've seen someone brought back to life, but in reality its a very painful experience and I won't lie. Pyrrha's going to have to regrow her entire skeleton, so her revival will be far more painful. She might die from the pain and I'll have to revive her again, but if that happens then her resurrection should go smoother."

"Well, it's just... Even if you're serious about abandoning your plans of killing everyone, does that mean you'll be evil in other ways?"

"Oh most definitely, I may have given up on collecting the relics and wiping out humanity personally, but I'm still going to spread grimm across the world to kill thousands each day."

"Well then...If I marry you, you have to give up any and all forms of evil." Jaune stated.

Salem looked at the young boy in shock and asked, "Like...all of them?"

"Yes."

The witch then gave a scowl as she slowly crept up to the boy, she towered over him with her eyes glowing redder and growled, "You know kid, you got some serious balls to demand so much of me. I could easily lock you in my dungeon and rape you at my leisure."

Jaune shook frantically as Salem placed one hand on his shoulder and stated, "But then again, you're too adorable for such a thing. So how about this, if you can fuck me better than any other partner I've had before you then I'll cease all evil acts forever, but if you're unable to preform to that standard, then you have to agree to my terms of marriage and the revival of Pyrrha. Deal?"

Jaune took a big gulp and uttered, "Deal."

* * *

 **Three hours later**

"So uh," Jaune mumbled while sitting naked in bed, awaiting patiently for his evaluation, "How'd I do?"

Salem was panting profusely while moaning, "THAT **_*pant*_** was _***pant***_ the best **_*pant*_** sex **_*pant*_** of my life." She turned towards her lover in awe asking, "HOW, HOW did you do that, how many partners did you have?"

"Uh-none, this was my first time."

"Incredible. You must have a penis blessed by the gods, I-MUST-HAVE-MORE!" Salem demanded, then used her shadow to manipulate Jaune to face her southern area.

The boy resisted and cried, "WAIT, does this mean you'll give up evil completely?"

"WHAT? OH, uh yeah sure whatever kid, just get to licking," She commanded while wrapping her legs around his head.

Inches away from the witch's crotch, he pulled back just enough to ask, "And Pyrrha, you're still going to revive her right?"

"YES FINE! WHATEVER YOU FUCKING WANT, NOW GET DOWN THERE AND LICK MY FUCKING PUSSY!"

* * *

 **One thousand years later**

We find a newly rebuilt Beacon academy as the teacher explains, "Then after her third orgasm, Salem ceased the spreading of grimm worldwide and beowolves became the most popular family pet. And that kids is the story of how Jaune's magnificent penis saved Remnant from Salem's wrath for eternity. Any questions?"

One student asked, "Yeah uh, so was Jaune seventeen when that happened or what? Cause that kinda sounds like statutory rape."

"Who fucking cares you little shit, Remnant is safe forever. Now onto our next lesson, with Sienna Khan still commanding the White Fang, James Ironwood decided the best way to put an end to the Fang's terrorist methods was for him to arrange a meeting with her and Jaune where he-"


End file.
